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Yea!

My excitement can barely be contained! Not because today is Christmas Eve or even that Christmas is tomorrow. It’s because I get to go SHOPPING!

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That money biz

It’s weird, but I figured out why I am so broke. I spend it. I recently lowered some of my bills and found myself with a couple of extra dollars. Really, I felt rich, when in reality I was broke as a joke. Instead of doing the smart thing and saving, I figure “Hey! I’ve got money! I can finally get sushi.”. Pure joy came into my heart. The only problem is I need glasses. I also need to pay my dentist bill. Oh! Let’s not forget, my student loans are gonna hit in, oh…say a month! Why do I relapse like a broke wannabe Paris Hilton. Even that girl has it together (She’s rich with an accountant).

Folks, I have tried the monitor accounts and tracking, it was like tracking everything I ate. Didn’t work and it was soooo lame! Also, the cash spending worked in theory…really I am card girl myself. Swipe and go, Swipe and go, and repeat. I can’t blame anyone…I can blame my need to want everything. Or at least to settle expenses I couldn’t handle previously.

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Memo: Random truth about myself…basically a night memo

I like to fart.
Superstar my armpits for no reason.
I get depressed at 3 to 5 times flats out of the month, maybe a week sometimes.
I pick my nose sometimes (a lot).
Tickling the skittles feels good all the time (make a guess as to what that is).
The only reason I want to move out is so I can walk around my place naked.
My boobs and smile are my favorite feature on my body.
I only like Winnie the pooh, tinker bell is only around so I can seem cool to my friends.
I only like hockey because of the men, same with all sports.
My dancing skills suck, but I still do it.
I have a strong discontent with my sisters.
My birth father will only be known as sperm donor (but respectfully).
As of now (November 29, 2014) setting goals and being and adult irritates the fuck out of me.
Looking at blogs like that right now pisses me off.
I want to cry, but I cant. It doesn’t make sense how that works. When I want to cry, I can’t and I don’t want to cry I do. I hate how I get this way, melancholy and without a thought. Like my brain refuses to fight the good fight and be positive. A Never-ending Monday. Bitch monkey. Really sad about it. Being alone. My life. Where I am in life. My being. My lack of motivation and optimism.

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Can you believe…

The thoughts that went through my mind this Thanksgiving Holiday weekend were so random and yet thought-provoking. I get depressed every once in a while when I feel as if I have nothing to do with my life (I have so much to do in my life, but I lack the energy or enthusiasm to do it). So the night of Thanksgiving where every weirdo, yes you, are out prepping for black Friday, I was trying go to sleep or at least summon a tear to loosen up the lump in my throat to cry tears I didn’t know I needed to release. So, I find my favorite YouTube concert of Mumford and Sons (Lollapollaza 2013) and get out my rarely used paint set and set out to get out my emotions. I got a few tears from it and some artsy stuff as well. It was nice. It reminded me of what I was like when I was a kid and I would feel the same way. There wasn’t anyone that I felt I should bother with my thoughts, so getting it out on paper was where I went. Social media took over that method and I lost a bit of my imagination. It was nice to be able to do something that simple just to feel a little bit.

Afterwards, I was tired and ready to get some shuteye and went straight to sleep. I felt proud of my work, but It was time to sleep away those negative thoughts and not think of anything. It was times like that I am glad I didn’t have any dreams. Dreams can get a persons hopes up you know.

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Work it out

First day back and it was hard. No Excuses!

What did I do, you ask? I worked out!

So, I started back with T25 and I have to say it wasn’t easy.In the time since I last worked out, I have gained over 10lbs and have since had health issues that have hindered me to plateau to not being where I should be. Not happy.