A work in progress…

I am at a stand still in my career. I haven’t even started in my field yet, but I still have so much that needs to be done, but that overwhelming feeling that nothing will go my way in my life keeps bringing me down. That the plans I have set up don’t make sense and aren’t even possible, even though I know they are. I consider myself a go-getter when I have set out on a goal when motivated.

As of now, I have received confirmation that I have completed my e-portfolio (Which is just a fancy way of saying my Master’s program guided Thesis) and can graduate in Spring 2014 to receive my Masters in Library and Information Science. Three long years have paid off! It felt great at first. Looking back on the hard work and the studying and real world experience that I completed; however, I look back and I still feel as if I haven’t done ANYTHING. I completed two internships, I got a job in the library field, and I even completed volunteer hours to get experience working with children. Nothing. My social life and personal relationships put on the back burner to focus on my dreams; an actual career with a title. Something that I planned for, for over three years.

Then I realized that my “planning” was disorganized. The internships I had completed didn’t even work towards the field that I was pursuing and the volunteer work was basic admin stuff. I shelved books or baby sat a jungle gym or in some cases stood like a body guard.  All my planning and goals were met, but not in the area that I wished to work in (Young Adult librarianship). The objectives were met for academic libraries and even though I work in a academic library right now, I know I would rather work some where else right now.

So what do I do?

I am NOT starting back from scratch. I guess I can do another internship; however, in my city it is so hard to even get your foot in the door for public service, especially as a librarian. We have the openings, but they come every so often and are very competitive (They prefer to hire within…bastards!).

My classmates and co-workers have been “suggesting” that I start applying for jobs, but what can I do when I don’t feel I have the experience to handle the position described on application. I applied and won a job, the current job that I have now, and I have no experience in collection management. Those first couple of months were HARD. I felt overwhelmed and stressed. Don’t get me wrong, I have learned a lot and I can utilize the skills I am gaining in the future, but I still do not want to be in a repeat situation when I apply for a job as Youth Specialist in a library.

I have been reading several articles trying to gain an idea on what it is I can do to focus the skills I have right now. One article in particular was from Levo League “Land Your Dream Job Without Experience“. I know by the title I am basically contradicting myself, but I’m not! In this article it discusses researching the jobs that you are interested in, and picking out the skills they would want a perspective employee to have and seeing if you match. Basically transferable skills. Creating your own experience in the position and being patient if you don’t see success. This article is basically what I needed to kick me in the ass to realize that it’s what you make of it in the real world.

So I have started looking at the various job openings and researching the qualifications that are listed. I do meet some of the qualifications and I feel better when it comes to the skills I have and I am slowly understanding the skills I have not used in forever. One of the things I will be doing is creating a sheet that list all of my skills and detailing how I have exemplified each of those set skills in my job or in the real world. Slowly I am coming around to understanding how I can prepare for when I graduate and start sending out applications. As of now, I am not going to rush it.

 

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It has been a minute

It has been a minute since I lasted posted on my blog. For that I apologize. I really haven’t been able to post anything. At least not on this site.

School blogs and work came first and it was hard to really think let alone post. This leads me to explain that basically nothing has happened. Yes I started accruing more vinyl for my collection and I am slowly getting back into my reading habits (less romance and more YA). Also, I am starting to plan for what life will be like outside of school. WHy?

I’m graduating! I will have completed my Master’s program in May, if my adviser deems my portfolio ready. I so hope so. That massive monstrosity ruled my life for the past month. It was rather disgusting how much stuffed is stuffed in my brain. My friends can quote verbatim stuff they learned last semester. I barely remember my name, let alone explain the code of ethics and values that I am supposed to abide by. Don’t get me wrong, I know my stuff and If I really tried I could possible go further in my program, but that isn’t how I work. I try and try and put in the effort, but I usually fall short.

That’s me. I am far from an under achiever. I am just an average achiever.

I want the best, but I will go only so far to get to it.

Anyway, here is a brief of what I have been listening to, reading, and watching:

Kendrick Lemar : Good Kis, M.A.A.D City

Baby Metal: Selftitled Album

Classical Music: The 99 Most Essential pieces of Classical Music

Side Note: I went to see Joshua Bell in concert. It was lovely. It even had Senator Harry Reid in attendance.

The Chainsmokers: #Selfie (So addicting!)

Frank Sinatra/The Rat Pack on Pandora

Reading

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. Fantastic Book! I absolutely enjoyed it. If you love gaming and 80s nostalgia, then this book is for you.

Watching

Crisis on NBC: It is about high profile parents whose children have been kidnapped for some unknown reason.

The Mindy Project: Mindy Kahling (Sorry for butchering the last name) is wonderful in her writing. It is better than The New Girl and I like that show.

Once Upon a Time: I like this storyline compared to the last season. It’s fun and wicked.

YouTube: The Fine Brothers React Series, BookTube, and whatever is on.

Games

I am not a gamer, but I have been playing these APPs on my iPad

2048: A number game where you have to get to the tile 2048. It is not easy

Jelly Splash

Dots: Connect Four basically

This is what has been occupying my time when I am not doing homework. All very boring stuff, but hey I needed the distraction. Oh! That and food. Which means I have to start my workout regime to get in shape for a 5k I will be doing in few months. Sigh…still peeved that I missed Spartan Race.

Until Next time, thanks for reading this wierd post. I am still wired from that almost(well it had to be) close to 30 pages with references, portfolio. Not bragging or anything. 😉

Questions

Concentrating. It is so hard to think and focus on what needs to be done. Like my body is playing tricks with my head “Hey, we’re tired. So, no productivity today. Ok?” Mean while midnight rolls around and my body goes into overdrive. Absolutely irritating!

I have so many school projects to do and I have a full weekend open to do it, but I have a hard time rolling out of bed and going to the library. When I do go to the library, with computer and books in hand, my concentration is gone. I am easily distracted and zone off towards other thoughts. When I have a deadline, yeah I work fast and furious, but these assignments are important. They need to be finished on time!

Why do I get so tired and un-motivated! What is with this! I don’t think I used to be this way.

I read an article about how personalities don’t change over time, the persons’ goals shift with age. So basically, they are saying that as I get older I will continually become an even more lazier person. WTF.

Now, for those of you who have read my posts, you know that I have tried to set myself up on goals and motivate myself time and time again and to no avail. What do you propose I do to get off my ass and work?

Should I wait until the last minute?

Should I create a to do list or place it on my calendar tricking myself into thinking the assignment is due earlier than said? (May end up doing this)

Or should I just take a breather and stop stressing about it, I just need to take my time.

My options are limited and those questions are not rhetorical. As of now,  I want to relax and read the important materials so I can fully prepare and write a legit paper that isn’t rushed. Looking back at my previous work and thinking this isn’t what I imagine my genius would look like on paper. My blog posts sound better than the papers I have written. That isn’t great!

 

Week One Day Five Focus T25

Week One Day Five: Focus T25 – Alpha Lower Focus + Cardio (Barely)

I finished Lower Focus with only minimal stoppage. Come on! It’s the legs. When It came to Cardio, well, I will be doing it again on Sunday. I was exhausted after the first workout that I just looked at Shaun T with confusion. What? You want me to build up to the progression? No.

I think if I could afford the shakeology I would purchase it and use it like a life line. I now know how to make without those incessant lumps of powder. Gross. However, It is super expensive and Christmas is coming. So I am sticking with fruits, vegetables, and moderating my eating to stay energized. 

The problem with this week, is that I am doing finals. Which I am so far behind it scares me. Aiming for a B+ really. Hopefully on my ‘STATurday’ I will have made some progress. Most likely i will be focusing on school work though. Wish me luck! Gonna need it. 

A very busy bee

I am excited to say that I will be busy and productive over the next semester. If you are student or knows one, you know that with school comes work. Having the motivation can really be the stepping stone you need to power through the feed back that comes from friends, family, and life. I have so much I want to accomplish over the next semester that have to remind myself to breathe and take one step at a time. I am not like others, who can balance all and do all. I like to see where I am going and take a breather to see what my hardwork has gotten me. I watched an ep of Tia and Tamera and saw how these women have to balance so much, but are two different personalities whose idea of busy differs from the other. Tameras husband was great in telling her to look away from her priorites for a second and focus. I am trying to do that. I want to participate with the best of them, but I want to look away and focus on something else in life. A sport, a blog, maybe even volunteering. I know that I love being busy, but I still want to see the big picture after I am finished.

Who passes!

This girl! I got an A in my Reference class and I couldn’t be more proud. I really think this was my test or in any case the starting point for my hard classes. I really learned a lot about what it is I don’t want to do. That’s helping people woth tedious questions, which is inevitable. However, still happy though.

Summer is sooooo not over

Well, at least I hope not. I have been on a mission folks (I am in luv with the word folks–so beware) and I have set about completing it throughout this entire summer.

1) Get my drivers license.   Check
2) Save enough money for a down payment on a car.   Check
3) Complete semester numero tres (that’s 3 in spanish) with a B or better.   Check. Got that or better grade wah wah!
4) Focus. Hard but check
5) Vacation.  Check

Now I am proud that even though it was a boring summer, I still did what I needed to do. I am just hoping that I can stay postive, focused, and motivated. Also…I want money.