I get it…New Year. Resolutions. 2015 Here we go!

This year and the past few years actually, I have not done a full New Years Resolution list. Really, I feel that if you want to improve ones life, they shouldn’t need a resolution to do it or to even start it. As for me it is a great boost since there are so many challenges out this year. Fitness and Finance challenges are my thing this year. Resolutions have been for people a motivator to get moving, but for those of realist and idealistic folks we know that, that motivator can only get you so far. This applies to the challenges as well.

After reading blog after blog after blog, I noticed a trend. Resolutions are being pushed out like last years fad. It’s a way to give ourselves a kick without having a word associated with it. This is my going to be what I will be doing for the year. Living without a resolution. Instead I am going to dedicate myself to live. Live life instead of just going through the motions. Excuses that have hindered me from living a good life that I have wished, hoped, and dreamed about, even envied others about.

Intention: I am going to live with intention. If I say I am going to do something, I am going to do it. I won’t give myself a timeline or even a deadline, since that feels like a resolution, but I will remind myself that I said I would do it. That will be the kicker. For example, I want to get my nose pierced. I’m not scared, more nervous about what it will look like and how much it will cost, but I know I will get it done. Financially I have it planned for April, but I digress. I am going to do it!

Grace: I have seen myself go from graceful, classy, and a young lady to a bitter, bitchy, and catty woman. That isn’t how I want to live my life. When I was in high school, I always looked up to people from the south. They had dignity and pride and always seemed wise beyond their years. So it was nice to get compliments that I had a southern mentality. Yes, I know some southerners are a bit much, but I will take what I can get. Still it was nice to have that. Grace is how I see myself. A lady who takes pride in herself, makes an effort to be kind to others, and goes about the world with optimism and class.

And I can do that with a nose piercing!

*** I have been working on this post for a few days now, so bear with me.***

The fitness resolutions are HUGE after the start of the new year. WE all want to look good and lose that weight from last year. Hell the amount of resolutions made by people are primarily about fitness. In my case its more about sticking with it. That can’t be a resolution for me. It should just be a lifestyle that I live.

Living with intention. Completing what I said I would do. Getting fit. Sorting out my finances and sticking with a budget. Getting out more socially. Loving myself for who I am. Learning about myself. Trying new things. STOP COMPARING MYSELF TO OTHERS. Getting help when I truly need it.

You don’t need a resolution to make a change. Change because you want to and just do it.

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Little thoughts

It seems life has its road blocks and bumps in them. Normal.

I recently completed a discussion post for my teen programming class and was brought back to the past. The nostalgia. RememhIber my junior year and being so happy to be a teenager. All of my hopes and fearlessness on the rise. I know I wasn’t the picture of teen happiness, but it wasn’t as bad as senior year(stressful mess).

Now as I reminices on the past, I realize that apart of me has dwindled and died with being an adult. Have to say high school did not adequately prepare me for the “real world”, because I am sucking at it big time.

However, I am partly to blame. Teens need to be educated on what to do when they move out. Nature and nuture go together not apart in my opinion and I seeing parents taking various roads in teaching their children. Independece and education in not being naive should be emphasize wholeheartedly.

Making plans is something that I did as a teen, but the dreamworld took over the realism. Money, school, job, marriage, family, owning a home. The real world. The discussion post opened up my eyes for a bit at how naive I was and still am. I need to stop judging others on their life and start living mine.

Scared took over being fearless.

Reality took over hope.

At 24 I slowly getting to where I wanna be. I may not have children, but I am still surpassing the goal that I originally established. Although not the way I wanted it.

Maybe that will be my next goal. Doing what I want!

Own a house. Live in a different state. Stop being so afraid to take chances. Make mistakes and learn from them. Travel. Get a job that I want (easier said then done in the economy). Volunteer.

What do I want to do before I die? Create and complete my buried list.

Yes, my junior was my finest year. Not perfect, but great. But I still have years ahead to make it memorable. Friends and family to help.

Pictures to take. Blogs to write. Peaces to show! Love to give out. Me and my little thoughts to share.

I feel like a woma…a depressed chunky one

I like to look a certain way. If that means having curves, so be it. I don’t like that feeling of depression coming over me due to my weight. I used to workout, but laziness called out to me. Now I am be starting all over again, with hope that I can reach my goal of losing 2o pounds. I really hope to. I just can’t look in the mirror and see what others see. The nice folks. I can see what society sees. A chunk girl with a gobbler for a neck. I want to be happy that I even have curves and show it off. My comfort fluxates on that and it doesn’t recognize that. I want to be comfortable in my real woman body and be accepting of myself. Being confidant in life, that my personal body issues go to the back and wallow with no attention from me.

My First Car!

So…the stress is finally over. Kind of. I bought a car. Kind of iffy about if I really like it. I am so …eh about it, that I am thinking I made a hasty decision. I got a 2010 Nissan Versa.  Basic car, just needs upgrades and since I plan on trading it, all is well. I think I prefer to take my time in these things. I really thought I would wait til next weekend. I didn’t . So much money. I really was stupid about the whole thing. I saved enough for a down payment, but insurance was huge. Now I have to save money for registration and there is limited time for OT (Overtime). So not happy about this. The car is good, but right now my confidence is low in regards to the amount I am paying, my basic insurance, and my driving.

Time will tell if I really will enjoy this purchase. I should be happy I even have a car. Right?