Kita’s Blogmas Day 15

“Complications of ESLD such as ascites, variceal hemorrhage, hepatic encephalopathy, and renal impairment primarily account for these deaths.”

Just reality setting in about my mom. She’s dying. I recently watched one of the episodes from the Netflix show ‘The Crown’ and Winston Churchill having heard that the King himself was ill and dying, responded in a blunt, yet factual manner. “He’s dying. We are all dying.” It hurt a little, because he was right. We are all dying. Slowly leaving this earth one brain cell at a time. I’m not trying to be sarcastic either. It’s true. It just sucks that our loved ones have to go in pain. I always wanted to have the thought that my mother would get more time to get better and complete everything she had wanted to do. Not disappointed in her past or saying what ifs, but she will. Remember and hearing the doctors words of liver failure, cancer, and only one year angered me. She has more left in her. Reading it, ironically felt more real. I still say she can last beyond the year. She lasted beyond the original five, twice!

Tomorrow I am going to bring up something that she probably said no to. Liver transplant, via me. I am the best candidate! Plus the sucker grows. It’s not all cut and dry like that, but apart of me feels that it is. Can it be done? What’s next.

Honestly, looking at the situation we are unprepared and I am just barely hanging on myself.

She was fiesty today. She answered the phone and was able to take her meds. Like her usual self. Improvement.

2017 seems like it’s gonna be just one of those years like 2016. Shitty.

How is that for optimistic? Also, after everything calms down on my end, I think I will take a needed break from this blog and start fresh. Something more happy. I need it.



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