We all have a purpose even when we are tired.

On a typical night I get about 10 hours worth of sleep time. *Does math in my head. Get home at 4:30ish in the afternoon. Shower. Talk with mom. Catch up on ALL social media even though it’s only been 30 mins (Really, I have a problem). Get tired and I am out at, let’s say 5:30 pm to about 8:30 pm. Wake up. Eat. Watch a bit of TV. Catch up on social media, because I was so “Busy” that I didn’t want to hang out tonight. Go back to sleep at 10 pm and wake up at 6:15 am. Yea, so that is about 10 hours worth of interrupted sleep! Look at me with envy people! Look with envy.

Well that changed as of March 14th. I got a second job working close to 25 to 30 hours a week. Honestly I could do less, but this bare minimum wage sucks ass. My sleep schedule has drastically changed. I now get home at 10:30 pm and get to be at 11:15 pm, waking up at 6:15 am. Yes, I know that is still a lot of hours of sleeping, but what happens when your body has to adjust to it? It gets tired and loses focus. My body aches and I am tired more often and I feel less prepared then when I was before. It’s hard to think and I am stressed out more. My day seems to end a whole lot quicker (Not at the 2nd job, that one seems to last forever) and I feel like I am not accomplishing anything and I’m not.

On Friday, I received my first paycheck from my 2nd job and it was okay, but I practically blew through it. My willpower to save vanished as soon as I knew that I had a cushion to fall on. A cushion that I will need to reach my goal by the end of the year, but telling myself no when I feel so tired and depleted just seemed so mean.

So, now I am making a decision to get off the sad horse and make this work for me. My plan is to change my availability to work for me and to stop complaining at work. I always knew it was going to be an issue, but it’s starting to embarrass me. Don’t want that. Reading that others are working 80 hour work weeks made me feel humble. Yes, it’s a different situation, but we all have a purpose we wish to accomplish and it’s never easy to get reach it. I may not know why I am doing this…but I know I want to have a brighter and lighter (Debt wise) future.

Just breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out. *Sobs internally* I miss my 10 hours of sleep!

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