The past weeks have gone by and I feel like a failure, a success, and a really tired worker (not a sex worker, but a professional with two jobs). As of two weeks ago I added two jobs. Honestly how people do it, actually how parents do it amazes me. Taking on extra duties and skills isn’t as easy as i once thought it would be. In my naive mind, I thought it wold be rather simple. Head into the first job complete tasks, when that’s done go into the second one and complete those minimalist tasks. Tasks that seem simple but are hard for a newbie. I was naive and ignorant when applying to jobs and this entire process has humbled me.
The entire time it has made me realize that people have it worse then me and that I have really come up. Even though it doesn’t feel like, I realize I am no longer in their shoes. Taking the bus, stretching pennies to provide for my family. Yes, I am still considered lower class, but now I am seeing from other perspectives…I am moving, abet slow, out of that class into another area and it freaks me out. I don’t know how to live like this and my finances are examples of that. Poor mistakes with my money have me living paycheck to paycheck, when I should still have money left over. So, even though I have more education then those who I work with at my second job, they are still on the same level as me. Struggling. Working constantly. And trying to survive on minimum wage (Well this I no longer have to do).
In a time where my generation is constantly berated by older generations for being spoiled, I realize that not that much is being done to rectify it. I was spoiled. My mother didn’t want me to work and go to school, so she worked hard, until she got sick, to provide for me. However, that wasn’t the greatest idea. In my case I became needy and accustomed to being pampered and now I am striving for that same security. That’s changing. I am re-evaluating my lifestyle and my needs and the reality of it all is that I seldom need half the stuff in my life that I have. Bill wise, since I live my mom, I understand some of it, but when I live on my own in the future that will change.
This entire growth is thanks to my second job. Yes I am tired and have made mistakes, but I have goals and I know that I wish to reach them I have keep working hard and moving forward. Take a breather and stay open minded through out the process. Easier said then done though, easier said then done.