You’ve got those loving feelings…not

Resentment: the feeling of displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, person, etc., regarded as causing injury or insult.

Envy: a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another’s advantages, success, possessions, etc.

These two words describe my feelings today and I am embarrassed by it, yet I relish in it. It’s wierd how two things that are seen as sins are helping me in my motivation. I know that I shouldn’t be jealous of someone elses success, but I am. In the end I am the one who needs to step up her game and stick to what I need to do. It just sucks how it all goes down. These feelings…these shitty feelings. A person can say they work as hard as someone else and it be the EXACT opposite of truth.

Honesty here: I know I can be lazy and put things off. I have “Potential”. The girl who is smart and can “make it”. When in reality, my favorite past time is sleeping and I love to joke around. That doesn’t get me a new job or a pay raise now does it.

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I need to get my priorities straight and pronto, because the envy and green that I saw was scary and it was just disconcerting to know I had those feelings. Joy and happiness are what I should be feeling for others and their success. Not resentment and envy.

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