Memo #1: Is it wrong that I envy people who have a defined faith?

Memo: Is it wrong that I envy people who have a defined faith? No? Thought so.

I am into blogs right now. Reading them and getting inspired once again to write out all my thoughts, when I noticed that few (a lot) are really into Jesus and faith. I am totally okay with that. It’s great really. I just don’t have it in me to be a full on worshiper. Half the time I just want to snap at people and say we could be aliens! or better yet how in the world could He just say we were created like that, yet you all don’t believe in magic. How does that work? Not that I believe in magic either, I’ve seen those magic unlocked series.

So my faith resides in that there is a higher power, but it may not be a person, but a power like Mother nature and we are her children who believe in a God who created our world in 6 days. When in reality it’s more like a billion years and still going. Pessimistic I am yet still optimistic or would it be a realist with idealistic tendencies.

Maybe what I envy is the fact that they have an answer as to why stuff happens good and bad, whereas I am stuck with the question of who what why and what the fudge!? This will not change. I know it. I will always be that person who is constantly questioning what is that I believe and still wear the cross her mother gave her on her 16th birthday. Not because of the meaning of it, but as a treasure given to me by my mother. A gift. Is that what people of faith look at their belief as, a gift? A gift to be able look at life as always having an answer because He always has a plan for his children. No worries or fear?

This entire thing is a something that I will live with forever or until I fully understand what is it I want to believe in.


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